


Remind Me That We'll Always Have Each Other

by brazenlyunabashedlyshamelessly



Series: Reunion [4]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-28 20:23:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3868570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brazenlyunabashedlyshamelessly/pseuds/brazenlyunabashedlyshamelessly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I still suck at summaries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remind Me That We'll Always Have Each Other

_“Fuck_ , that feels good,” Mickey gasped against his ear.

For the first time since they’d gotten back together, Mickey and Ian were in bed, their sweaty bodies sliding against one another. Since Lip wasn’t home, they were using his bedroom. Ian had asked Mickey to spend the night; it was a big step. They were trying to take things… not slow, exactly. But they were being cautious.

Now, things were going well. They were wrapped up in each other; Ian could feel Mickey’s thighs squeezing his hips, his fingers threaded through Ian’s hair.

It should’ve been amazing. And it was.

Only… something kept niggling at him.

Had Mickey done this with someone else? He’d admitted that he’d cheated. But had he gasped and pleaded for someone else to fuck him like this?

_Concentrate_ , Ian chided himself.  _This was important. They needed this._

Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to lose himself in the sensations. Mickey’s heat surrounding him, his smell, the sound of his harsh breathing. It was all so familiar, but there was something off. Ian couldn’t get there.

“ _Christ, Ian!_ ”

Mickey came with a grunt, his head thrown back. Hoping the feel of Mickey clenching around him would send him over the edge, too, Ian kept thrusting. 

_Someone else had seen Mickey like this_.

That did it. He pulled out quickly, hoping Mickey wouldn’t notice that his cock had abruptly softened.

“I’m gonna take a shower,” he muttered after a second. Leaving Mickey lying on the bed, trying to catch his breath, Ian hurried to the bathroom.

The house was silent. The early hours of the morning was the only time the Gallagher house was this quiet. Ever since Ian’s diagnosis, this was his favourite time to be in the house. On those nights where he couldn’t sleep, Ian would wonder around, quietly reorganising things, doing the odd chore. It gave him time to think.

He turned on the shower, and waited for the water to heat up. Stepping into the tub and under the spray, Ian felt himself relax. Ian didn’t know how long he stood there for; he tried not to think, to pretend that the hot water would wash away the thoughts of Mickey with someone else.

“Hey,” a quiet voice said.

Ian jumped at the sound. Glancing up, he saw Mickey there; there was concern in his expression.

“You okay?” Mickey asked.

It took Ian a moment to respond. In that time, he thought about the last couple of weeks. How Mickey was slowly letting his guard down; of the casual touches that were coming more frequently; and how they lapsed into awkward silences less and less. Things were good between them now. Did he really want to bring up what’d happened during the time they’d been apart?

“Great,” Ian answered, forcing a smile.

Then, swallowing back the disgust he felt at how easily the lie had come, he made room for Mickey in the shower. “Scrub my back for me?”

“Sure.”

As Mickey reached for the soap, Ian turned his back on him. He felt gentle hands on his skin, and pushed aside the guilt. He and Mickey were finally in a good place.

He wouldn’t let bullshit from the past ruin things.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ian couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this happy. The closest he could think of was last summer. But even then, his disorder and accompanying denial had coloured everything, tainting some of the better memories.

The last couple of weeks had been… God, he didn’t have the words to describe them, especially when he thought about the wretched time he and Mickey had spent apart.

There was only one problem, though: the sex just wasn’t working.

What had once been the easiest part of their relationship had now become the most difficult. No matter how hard Ian tried, he just… His body wasn’t cooperating. And it was pissing him off.

That frustration was beginning to leak into the rest of their relationship.

Mickey was on his knees between Ian’s legs, his mouth warm and wet around Ian’s cock. It felt so good, and Ian could feel himself getting closer when his mind sabotaged his body for the upteenth time.

_I cheated on you, too._

Those remembered words acted like a bucket of cold water over Ian’s libido. He stiffened above Mickey as his erection softened. Mickey hesitated; for a moment, and neither of them moved.

Instead of pulling back, though, Mickey resumed his efforts, trying to coax Ian’s cock back to hardness.

Shame washed through Ian. Because as Mickey bobbed his head, Ian’s own words from months ago seemed to hang between them.

_Just suck it harder, you faggot._

“Mick, stop,” Ian whispered.

He felt Mickey rest his head against his thigh, giving a shaky exhalation.

There was a long silence.

“What’s wrong?” Mickey asked tightly.

“I… I dunno,” he responded, stumbling over the lie this time.

Mickey scoffed, shoving abruptly to his feet. He wouldn’t look at Ian as he got dressed.

“Wait, where you goin’?” he asked as Mickey headed for Ian’s bedroom door. “Don’t leave.”

Swearing as Mickey ignored him, Ian hurriedly pulled on his boxers to trail after Mickey.  _Shit_ , Ian thought as he quickened his steps to catch up to Mickey.  _Shit, shit, shit._

“C’mon, Mick, just give me a chance to explain.”

“You’ve had almost a whole fuckin’ month to tell me what the fuck’s goin’ on with you,” Mickey snapped. He’d reached the front door by now, had just started to yank it open when Ian shoved it closed from behind him. Mickey didn’t turn to face him, just glared resolutely at the wood panelling in front of him.

Conscious of the fact that his siblings were in the living room, Ian spoke in a low voice.

“Don’t go. Please? You’re right, I-I’ve… I should’ve talked to you ‘bout this sooner.”

Mickey hesitated; Ian could see his jaw working. Not saying a word, Mickey pushed past him, and stalked up the stairs. He leaned back against the door, banging his head in frustration at himself.

“Everything okay?” Fiona asked once Mickey was out of sight. She approached Ian cautiously, her eyes on his expression. He could see Carl and Debbie’s curious faces peering at him from over the back of the couch.

“Yeah. Yeah, I just… There’s something I gotta talk to him about, an’ I’ve been putting it off.” Ian rubbed his hands over his face tiredly.

Bracing himself for the uncomfortable conversation to come, Ian forced himself to head back to his room.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He found Mickey sitting on the edge of his bed. His leg was jittering in agitation, and Ian felt an attack of nerves.  _God, he didn’t want to do this._

“I’m sorry. I-I should’ve talked to you ‘bout this sooner. It’s just…” Ian struggled to continue.  _Do you want this to work out, or not?_  he berated himself. “Things have been goin’… Mick, things have been great. I don’t wanna screw it up.”

Mickey didn’t say anything, just stared at him.

“You cheated on me, Mick.”

The words seemed to hang between them for a moment, and Ian watched as Mickey’s expression filled with guilt. He nodded wordlessly.

“An’ every time we… All I can think about is you with someone else. An’ that’s all I can see.”

Neither of them spoke; the silence was heavy, and Ian wished he could take the words back. He moved to sit next to Mickey, leaving a gap between them. More than anything, Ian wanted to reach out to touch him, but he couldn’t. Not with what they were talking about right now..

“What d’you want me to do?” Mickey asked quietly.

Ian thought it through for a moment. He knew what he wanted to ask, but didn’t know if he could force the words out.

“Will you tell me why you did it?”

Another long silence. Ian made no effort to break it; he just stared across the room at the posters lining the wall by Carl’s bed. He felt Mickey shifting beside him.

“You were gone,” Mickey began. “I didn’t-I didn’t know where you were, you weren’t answerin’ your phone.” He paused to glance at Ian, Mickey’s hand twitching as though he wanted to reach out to touch him.

“Nothin’… I couldn’t control anythin’. Everythin’ was goin’ to hell anyway, so… I didn’t want it…” Mickey fell silent, clearly struggling to put how he was feeling into words. “If we were gonna be over, I didn’t want it to just  _happen_ to me, y’know?” He got up to pace the length of the room.

Swallowing hard, Ian felt the guilt crashing into him again at what Mickey was describing.  _He’d made Mickey feel helpless._

“Mick, I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

“Me, too. I shouldn’t… shouldn’t have done it. Fuck, I can’t even remember what the fuckin’ guy looked like, I hated havin’ him touch me. Half the time I just wanted to shove him away. But, at least it was me decidin’, y’know?”

Ian nodded wordlessly.

“An’… I’m so sorry. Ian, I fucked up, an’ I’m sorry.” He came to sit beside Ian on the bed again, a little closer this time.

“I know. I’m sorry, too,” Ian whispered.

“D’you think we can get passed this?”

“I dunno. But I wanna try. ‘Cause, Mick… I love you.”

Mickey didn’t say anything, and Ian felt something inside him threaten to fracture. Even if Mickey didn’t say it back, he had to know. He had to  _know_ how Ian felt.

“I love you, too.”

It was weird. Ian had been waiting for years to hear those words. Had pictured the setting a thousand times inside his head. He’d fucked up the first time Mickey’d said it. But this time Ian felt like, for all that he’d wanted to hear it, he’d never been ready.

He was ready now.

And in that moment, staring into Mickey’s earnest expression, any doubts Ian may have had faded away. Leaning forward to brush his lips against Mickey’s, one thing was clear to him.

They were going to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is going to be the last part of this series. Thanks to all of you who took the time to read it.


End file.
